Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Fear - The Ugly Side of Creativity

I've been working on a book for the past two years - well, three books actually, but that's another story for another post. This post is about pouring your mind and soul into creating something, only to discover, upon its completion that the thought of sharing it with someone is terrifying.

What if it's boring?

What if they don't like it?

Worse, what if they think it's stupid?

What if they think I am stupid?

I don't want to be judged by my friends and family. I don't want to be called stupid or boring or unoriginal by strangers. I don't want to have someone tear my work apart. I don't know if I want to give anyone that much detail into the inner workings of my brain and how I think.

At the same time, if I'm too afraid to share this work with people, then why did I create it? Am I willing to take years of work, and shove it away in a drawer somewhere, never to be seen by a single soul?

No. No, I am not.

Fear can be stifling. It creates this little box of insecurities and doubt that make you question your very worth as a human being. But inside that little, suffocating box of insecurities, there is a little moth, fluttering around in one tiny little corner of open space. And you can see it, just barely - a little fuzzy around the edges, erratically smacking into the sides of the box, and certainly hard to catch, but it's there. What is it?

It's a question. It's the question. What if it's good?

What if it's not boring, stupid, or unoriginal?

What if it's amazing?

What if people everywhere will pick it up, and not put it down to the last page? What if they will crave more, and are begging for the next chapter, the next book, the next adventure?

Using fear as an excuse to not try is far worse, and will leave you with far more regrets, than trying and failing.

In other words - fate favors the bold.

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