Monday, October 17, 2011

News Flash, Your Child Did Not Hang the Moon

I'm officially convinced we're in the midst of an epidemic - one where people are obsessed with their children. Now, I get that most new parents are obsessed with their children, and that's normal. However, when I get on my Facebook account and see my friends posting status updates every day that say things like, "Tommy rolled over today!" or "Mary Jane started holding her own head up!" it takes all my will power not to let them know that no one cares (aside from maybe the grandparents).

People seem to think that their child is unique, that their child is the first child to ever go through the normal stages of development. Somehow it has slipped their mind that every single functioning person on the planet has gone through the exact same stages of development. The whole thing is akin to me posting a status update that says, "Oh my! The sun came up today!" Of course it came up, that's what it's supposed to do.

When your kid can name the presidents at the age of 1, beat box like Justin Timberlake at the age of 5, or do complicated math problems in his head at 3, THEN you have a reason to post about your child. Until then, I hate to break it to you, but no one cares that your kid ate peas for the first time today, even though it may be the most important thing that's happened to you since yesterday, which was the first day he slept through the night.

Unfortunately, I'm seeing the result of this child-centered egocentricism spreading outside of Facebook. I was in a restaurant where someone handed their child a napkin to shred. The child promptly and happily tore the napkin into tiny little pieces, which she then threw on the floor. Did the parents clean it up? No, they got up, and left their table surrounded in little napkin bits. They were probably too busy posting a Facebook status about how little Nancy is so cute when she destroys napkins and tosses the little bits into the air like confetti.

I have to ask, when did it become someone else's job to clean up after your kid? It brings to mind watching a very close friend of mine do a stand up comedy act for our high school talent show. Her smart, quirky, and spot-on commentary of societal peculiarities touched on a lot of different subjects, one of which was how people allow their children to misbehave in restaurants. My friend's solution to the matter was simple, "If you don't hit your kids, we'll hit them for you."

Though part of me wonders if it's the kids or the parents that need to be disciplined. 

1 comment:

  1. I love how you write and enjoy reading it... specially when some of it I heard in person coming from the author herself ;) you are very talented buddy :)